The Comparison Trap.

This semester I have started working toward my psychology/ counseling degree. I’m not super far along in my studies, so I’m certainly not the person to come to with any of your psychological questions. However, one of the most recent things I studied was the concept of social comparison. I think that everyone can relate to the idea of social comparison, because everyone has done it. Sometimes, we do it unconsciously, but we do it, nonetheless. While it is almost instinctive for us to compare ourselves with others, I think doing this can come at a cost that, in the end, we will not want to pay. It looks innocent enough, but really comparison is a trap we set for ourselves.

Pastor Steven Furtick once said that “the death of contentment is comparison.” Often times, we can look at what others have and suddenly feel that what we have is not enough. We have the capacity to become discontent when we see someone with a nicer car, or a higher paying job, or a better relationship than we have. We can be so obsessed with the worldly things we do not have that we miss all the blessings that God has entrusted to us. God gave you the things you have for a reason, and He made you the way you are for a reason. Yet, we get so caught up in what others have and what we think we want. We live in a culture that tells us that we have to have or do certain things to be accepted. I’m so glad that God does not require us to have or do anything special in order for us to be eligible for His acceptance. All to often, we will compare ourselves to the world and give up anything necessary to fit in with it. We compare ourselves, because we seek the approval of everyone else. I think something that every Christian must realize is that we only need one person’s approval, and that’s Jesus Christ. I do not need the approval of everyone else, because I already have the approval of Christ. Comparing yourself with and fighting for the acceptance of others is exhausting and, in the end, disappointing. However, God stands ready to give you His acceptance and approval, you just have to accept it. So, why get discouraged by not having an earthly possession, if you have the priceless treasure of calling God your Father?

There is a flip side to comparison, though. One part says that we don’t measure up to other people, and the other part tells us that we are better than other people. Individuals, who often times have low-self esteem, try to make themselves feel better by comparing themselves to people who seem worse than they are. I see this happen all the time. I’ve even done it in my own life. We make ourselves feel better when we look at others’ faults and mistakes. If the majority of people were honest, they would admit that they try to justify their actions by saying that they are not as bad as someone else. We say, “Well, I may have done this, but So-And-So did that.” We say we are not nearly as bad as someone else we know, so, in our minds, we are good people. However, everyone is a sinner, so when we compare ourselves with the world, we are comparing ourselves to a sinful standard. In 1 Corinthians 10:12, it says, “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” We may look like good people compared to everyone else, but the One we should really compare ourselves to is Christ. We might exceed the world’s requirements to be a good person, but we fall extremely short of God’s righteous requirements. When we compare yourself to Christ, Who was in every way perfect and sinless, we see just how sinful we are. In the light of God’s presence, we see the full darkness of our sin. We realize that we cannot meet God’s standard, so we need Someone else to meet it for us. Jesus lived a sinless life and became the only One who could save us. All we have to do is repent of our sins and accept His gift of salvation.

So, in closing, do not compare yourself to others and get discouraged about what you don’t have, because God loves and accepts you, and He is “able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8) I also challenge you to stop justifying your actions by comparing them to that of someone else’s. Sin is sin. I encourage you to compare yourself to Christ, strive to be more like Him, and be thankful for the grace God gives you when you are not like Him.

If you have any questions, comments, or topics you would like me to write about you can email me at christy@tonynolan.org or just leave a comment below. God bless and thank you so much for reading.